Thanksgiving marked one month of Caleb in our home and in some ways it seems like the days have flown by, and in other ways, we’ve felt so immersed in this journey, that it’s difficult to even remember the days BC (before caleb). We continue to “adjust”. When people ask how we’re doing we usually say, “Well…it’s an adjustment for all of us, but it’s good.” I feel like I’ve settled into the word “adjustment” like my warm down coat. Kind of accepting The Adjustment as the new normal. We’ve pitched a tent in the wilderness for now and are trying to find cool in the Cloud, warmth from the Fire and sustenance from the Daily Bread. And while we hope for that Day when we’ll look back and say “Remember that first year?”…we also have so many reasons to beat the tambourine and sing together over the little joys we see each and every day. (those pinholes, again) It takes a trained eye to see them – a supernatural eye, really. For many of the joys wouldn’t seem all that much of a reason to dance to many – but to us in the desert…they are so much more than a rehearsed thing you might hear around the thanksgiving table. They are evidence of Immanuel – God With Us – at work in the infinitesimal. It’s these little miracles – like Caleb running and giving Savannah a hug at Sunday School – that help us begin to see bloom in this desert season. That’s probably not what most expect to hear…that it’s hard and takes every bit of strength we can muster – but that’s reality. I’ve written it before, but it’s as true as ever…When we choose to give our life to see another raised up, there is bloodshed. Redemptive living requires sacrifice. But not sacrifice without hope or purpose…or even joy.
We have seen tremendous changes and progress since we arrived home with Caleb. Here are some words to describe this little guy: curious, active, spunky, active, toddler, active, good-natured, active, fun-loving, active, relational, active, strong, active, smart as a whip, active, cute as a button, active :) His new feats include using several new English words and signs, going in the potty all by himself, imitating everything, hauling a large riding car up the steps, breaking Micah’s video game, spilling a large drink in Costco, staying in Sunday school all by himself (!), sleeping better at night, playing football outside with the big boys, figuring out how to climb on the couch to turn the lights on and off, learning exactly what he should get into if he wants to go to time-out, deciding that he does not like veggies, drinking milk (not a fan), dancing to music, his first road-trip to Chicago, and not tearing down the Christmas tree (yet!). He’s a ball of fun and we honestly can’t imagine our family without him anymore.
We continue to covet your prayers, emails, words of support and shared rejoicing. Many of you have graciously asked what you can be praying for specifically. I’d say for Caleb’s heart to continue to heal and for comfort for his deep-seeded fears. Pray that he and I would form a bond that is as strong as a mother with her natural child. I believe this is possible, although right now it seems so far away. He is strongly favoring Greg and Micah and remaining emotionally distant from Savannah and myself. This is normal and expected, but at times feels like stinging salt in a wound when I endure it day after day. I have written some other posts on my own personal journey in this. Also, please continue to pray for wisdom in our parenting and unity and humility in our communication. At times we are both so weary and strung out that the easiest thing is to target each other instead of extending more grace and serving one another in gratitude. Greg has blown my mind with his consistent and steadfast strength and love in this time. He has been a rock in our family and led us so well through this season with songs of joy and praise instead of complaint.
For those of you who haven’t met Caleb yet, we so look forward to introducing you (he’d love to give you a ‘high five’ and ‘pound it’) :) Thank you again – you are treasured!
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