*sigh* A moment to breathe in the midst of doors slamming, kids in and out, giant messes from train track and block cities, messes from basement-sized forts, breakfasts, snacks, lunches, snacks, more snacks, what's for dinner?, housework, the potty, children trying to always one up the other, unfairness, discipline...and then trying to discipline in grace and wisdom, carpooling, laundry, monitoring screen time, remembering Bible time, chore time, reading time, individual child time, emails, phone calls, doctor appointments, setting up childcare and finding a sitter (why is this so hard every time?), keeping up with loved ones, fixing broken toys, watering the garden and all those flowers I planted that are singing "oh, oh, oh, oh stayin' alive" because I don't water them enough, groceries, library books and media (I think I alone support our local branch with my ongoing late fees)...did I forget something? Oh, yes, caring for and supporting my husband, taking a meal to the family with the new baby and the family just getting out of the hospital, that thank-you card to the sweet soul who blessed us, setting dates for those friends to come over and share a meal and an evening, oh, and the rejection of my three year old adopted son facing me day in and day out and all the gumption and grace it requires to simply keep showing up and staying open...........and I'm leaving out a hundred things or more.....and sometimes I whisper and sometimes I cry out "I can't do it. I CAN'T DO THIS!" And I'm right. I can't. I can't do this whole ministry of raising kids and managing a home with Kingdom perspective and purpose. It's overwhelming, exhausting and daily brings me to the end of myself (often by 8:00am). And so I ask with Paul, "And who is adequate for these things?" (2:16) For this daily laying down of physical, mental, and emotional being for the sake of God's glory and those I serve? The answer: Not me. Not you. Not anybody.
But God...
Oh, the blessed "But" (with only one "t" :)! But GOD...He has made me (and you, Sister in Christ) adequate.
In what? For what?
"We are not adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit, for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." (3:5-6)
I have been made adequate to be a servant of the new covenant, a minister of the Spirit in my home. It's done! It was sealed at the cross and now in my heart by the power of the blood and the presence of the Holy Spirit. I am adequate in Christ alone...
Notice it does not say I was made adequate or given power for the ministry of the law, death or condemnation. When I mother out of a pharisaical sense of wanting to control things or holding my kids' noses to the letter of the law without grace in the home...there is no adequacy or power for that. When I'm demanding, grace-less, and self-righteous I'm powerless and it will run me ragged and hang me out to dry.
But what about the ministry of the Spirit and righteousness flowing from the new covenant of grace? Ah...yes. For that we are made adequate. For that there is an endless supply of power to be a servant of the new covenant in my home. So if this is my focus and my pursuit, then adequacy abounds. There is a never ending well of water, buckets overflowing at every draw. But I must dip my bucket into the well of grace to be able to minister and pour out grace. I must trust that there is water in that well and dip my bucket suredly and often.
Because truth be told, this ministery of motherhood comes with 365 white flags, one for every day of the year. I stumble, fall, screw up, backslide, hide and more oft than not raise the white flag in surrender. But we have hope and move through our day in boldness knowing that the All Sufficient One will most assuredly show up and fill the cup. And when we mother in the Spirit, we are declared adequate and we have enough to carry out the call.
And I have to remember, too, who I'm ministering to. Our little ones, until they have turned to the Lord are veiled. (vs.16) But we keep reading Moses! (vv 14-15) We keep being that servant of the new covenant, bound by grace, living by grace, proclaiming grace...and they'll see the glory (vv. 7-11). God will lift that veil, they'll turn to Christ, be filled with the Spirit and they'll taste the liberty we've been living! Oh! How I pray and set my face like flint for that day.
God loves the white flag in our lives. It means we've set aside the ministry of condemnation and we're ready to take up the ministry of the Spirit. It shows off His great glory and I stand amazed that God might use someone like me to proclaim the beauty, power and grace of His Kingdom to this world.
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